For you.

 The Feelings I Kept

 I was surrounded by people and yet certain loneliness filled my very core. The type of loneliness creates a longing for an unknown person. I was jovial and always a ray of sunshine for the people around me. The more I push my feelings of loneliness down the more positivity seeped out of my pores. It was hard maintaining it all but I was determined not to let anyone in. Then he came. 

It was a normal mundane Sunday. I just finished a hectic week with school and all so I decided that I wanted to go on Omegle. Huh, now thinking back at it, damn how stupid I was to vulnerably submit myself to one of the sketchiest websites available and yet I ignored all the red flags. Oh, how I am overjoyed I ignored it. You see I'm a logical person, if it screams danger then I don't go as simple as that but that day I was feeling a tad bit adventurous. Hence, my journey through that disturbing website began. I kept on being connected with horny bots who were trying to find their next victims. I was on the verge of giving up when I connected with him. 

Like any normal person on Omegle, I started the conversation by begging for him to actually be human and also not a hormonal and horny one. To my surprise, he actually fits both of those criteria, somewhat. At first, the conversation was directed towards an awkward path and yet somehow we steered it back to the rightful path. I would never think I would actually be able to talk to a stranger on a suspicious website for hours on end. Our conversations were about everything and nothing. It's as though I grew up with him and knew him all my life. A sense of comfort washed over me. Then he asked for my snap. Ah, in the day of modern romance, asking for someone's snap is highly similar to asking for someone's phone number. 

I without any hesitation gave it to him. Never in a million years have I given my Snapchat ID to a total stranger especially to a person I have absolutely no idea how they look like. Our conversation moved on there. He sent me pictures of him and I was immediately enamored. His aura holds a certain type of maturity and playfulness. His facial structure is sharp to the touch and yet soft in places it needs to be soft. His eyes bring you in and feed you with a sense of comfort and care. He is skillful with his words which got me hooked but pair it with his dashing looks, oh my I'm a total goner. From that day onwards my days were filled with his voice and pictures. 

Making long-distance work might I say is one of the toughest things I have to endure. For him, everything is worth it. I yearn for his touch and warmth and yet I lack his presence near me. It shows me how much communication matters and how much supporting each other is the essence of a relationship. He taught me patience and tolerance. Yes, we fight but which couple doesn't? Love requires sacrifices from both of us and it's a sacrifice I am more than willing to make. 

This is for my first and forever love, my yangi.

Yours forever, 

Your Nur Jaan